


and the truth shall set you free

by moon_jelly



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: M/M, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28205868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_jelly/pseuds/moon_jelly
Summary: Damen doesn't know when the scars started fading.
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20
Collections: Captive Prince Secret Santa 2020





	and the truth shall set you free

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Whoneedsleepanyway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoneedsleepanyway/gifts).



> this is my gift for Whoneedsleepanyway, based off the prompt "scars"! hope you enjoy!

Damen doesn’t know when it was that the scars started fading. 

They’ll never fade completely. He knows this, knows it a little too well, but he’s never paid them much attention anyway. The scars only remind him of that dark time when he was well and truly alone, when Kastor was a traitor and Laurent hated him more than anything else, so he simply does not think about them. They _are_ a part of him, but not one that’s more important than his present. 

Laurent, on the other hand… 

Laurent does not see the scars often, because Damen does not want him to see them. He knows, even now, several years down the line, that Laurent still suffers some amount of guilt over what he did to Damen on that day, even if he never mentions it to anyone. It’s evident in the way his eyes linger on the scars when he _does_ see them, the way his fingers trace them so gently when the two of them are in bed, the way he always rests his hand on Damen’s back whenever they stand together, so casually but with tension hidden within. It's a guilt that must run deep into his soul, that has grown roots and embedded itself into every action whenever Laurent sees the scars. 

Damen has known for a long time that Laurent has trouble forgiving himself, but he’s not sure how to go about approaching this guilt. Or at least, he _hadn’t_ been sure, since forcing the issue would go nowhere, and he himself didn't particularly want to think about them. But now that the scars were fading into thick, silvery lines that covered his back… had Laurent even noticed how they had changed? Or, like Damen, had he simply not noticed the way their appearance had shifted, day by day? 

Oh, who was he kidding? Of course Laurent had noticed. Laurent was, if nothing else, incredibly observant. But... why hadn't he said anything? Why hadn't he, like Damen, been relieved by the fact that this record of their pain was fading away like an old, bad memory? 

Maybe it was that Laurent either didn't want to forget - or simply _couldn't_. Maybe it was that he'd spent so much time feeling guilty that he didn't know how to feel anything else, like he would be repaying Damen for what he'd done for the rest of his life. Which was obviously false, as Damen had forgiven Laurent for it long ago, but... Damen knew all too well that controlling one's feelings was easier said than done. He would need to help Laurent through this, instead of leaving him alone to deal with it himself. The question, then, was of how to address this issue in a slightly more subtle way, instead of in the... unsubtle way in which Damen was accustomed to addressing his own emotions. 

The answer, as with many things, comes to him with a good spar. 

A few weeks after he had first noticed the scars fading, Damen finds himself rather fed up with the way both he and Laurent have been avoiding the topic, so he does what he can to re-center himself and goes to practice his swordplay. Each swing is repetitive, meditative, letting him truly sink into his thoughts, and when Laurent finally comes to join him by the end of the day, he doesn’t feel quite so muddled. So, with a clearer head, he challenges Laurent to a friendly spar. 

The two of them try to spar relatively often, but it doesn’t happen very often anymore, since their duties as kings keep them constantly busy. It's enough to make Damen miss the days when both of them had only recently been crowned, before there was so much work that they were both drowning in it, no matter how much help they had. In this moment, Damen has a rare opportunity, and he certainly means to make use of it. 

They circle around each other, swords by their sides; then, impatient, Damen goes in for the first strike. Laurent blocks, then swings, and then both of them are off, swinging and striking and blocking and moving back. The clash of steel is almost a soothing noise, both of them taking care to make sure that that’s the only sort of noise in the practice ring, instead of the grunts of pain found on the battlefield. In the last few years, Laurent has improved enough to be more than Damen's equal, each of them winning and losing an equal number of bouts, and each time they cross blades fills Damen up with a dizzying sort of joy - the sort of joy that comes from having a true equal in all things. 

These spars of theirs don’t usually draw blood, but this is an exception; Laurent gets in underneath Damen’s guard, slashing upwards. Damen manages to duck out of the way in time to prevent major damage, but not quite fast enough to avoid getting a cut on his cheek. Laurent drops his sword, coming in close to inspect the damage, and Damen can see a sort of defeat in Laurent’s eyes, mixed with the triumph at winning this bout, at hurting him once again. 

“I’m -” Laurent begins, the words fighting their way out of his throat. 

“It’s alright,” Damen says, making sure he can hear the true meaning of his words. “I forgive you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> It's a start - Damen just knows it, when he sees Laurent's eyes widen at his words. He looks down to his sword, then up at Damen's face, then at his cut, and back to his sword again. Damen, for his part isn't quite sure where Laurent's mind has wandered to, but... hopefully this has at least made his own feelings on the matter clear. 
> 
> -
> 
> i rlly saw scars and just started rambling lol


End file.
